i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
