saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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