I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
