ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
