no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
