I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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