Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
