I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
