you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
