Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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