Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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