I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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