If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
