i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
