Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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