you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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