Someone shit on the floor
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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