Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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