We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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