Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
