so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
