i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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