Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
