i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
