remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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