it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
