Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize