I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
