I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
accomplished twins. life is a go
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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