If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.