yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb