I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?