I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
