You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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