i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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