I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
