You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
