Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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