Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
