I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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