UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
