its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
