guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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