I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
