If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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