Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
And then he peed in my hair
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