It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
