i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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