Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
