butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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