She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
