I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
