Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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