i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
