Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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