Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
