i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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