First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
