if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
