please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize