Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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