He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
