8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize