Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize